Heck Ya!!
I’d like you all to watch as the burden of school is officially lifted from my shoulder… *sigh*, does that ever feel GREAT!! It was a long tough semester, and it’s finally OVER, that’s right I said it, it is OVER (just needed to read it twice to make sure). I was writing my last final today and as I watched people exit the testing room, they physically changed, from shoulder hunching, exhausted shells of human beings, to people with hope for an actual life again, and I also know every single one of them was headed towards a liquor store or bar, because nothing says the end of finals like an ice cold beer (or 10). For those of you who have never really been fully immersed in the hell that is finals, I recieved an email recently that expresses fully EXACTLY what we each go through, I’d like to share it with you:
“Hey guys, I figured i’d write an email to briefly overview what we’re all going through with finals right about now. Some of you aren’t writing finals, but have in the past, so maybe you remember. In my opinion theres 4 steps to getting through finals
Step 1. Denial - The test isn’t going to be that hard. I know my stuff pretty well I think I’ll do alright. It’s only worth 30%. I only need a 50% on the final to pass the class. Said any of those lately
2. Procrastination - Its not for another 3 days, I can totally party tonight. Its not for another 2 days, I study my best at crunch time anyways, lets go out for wings and then play some poker. It’s only tommorow, yeah I should write an email about finals to my friends instead of studying.
3. Realization - Holy fuck its tommorow I better stay up all night cramming this shit. Holy fuck I dont have enough time, I guess ill just study the basics and hope I can bluff all the MC.>
4. The Test - You’re still studying 20 minutes before the test gotta read that last chapter for the first time real quick. Saying to yourself ‘ I sure wish I started studying a week ago and was actually prepared for once’. While your writing the test you feel mediocre about every question, not knowing if your for sure right or completely wrong ever. After the test your elated about finally being done 1 fucking exam, and decide its a good idea to get drunk and celebrate instead of study for the next exam 2 days away.
Some other weird events that happen during finals
-You find doing anything else other than studying is fucking awesome.
-You watch poker on television for hours.
-You call your parents just to see what they’re up to, which you never do otherwise.
-You clean your room/kitchen/bathroom, b/c fuck, its better than studying.
-You help other people with their work because it’s more fun than your studying.
-You find yourself beating off 3 times a day because, fuck, its a good quick study break.
-You’re totally reevaluating your life, and maybe wondering if this ‘university education’ is such a good idea, realizing that riggers dont have to write any finals, and they can sure buy alot of toys.
-You talk to all those people on msn that you NEVER talk to. Oh hey ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend, whats new in your life?
-You find yourself sleeping in 3 extra hours because you ’study on your own time’ and ‘dont follow anyones rules, not even your own’ which in the end fucks yourself over b/c studying between 3-9 am doesnt work well
-Taking shits are even better than ever, unless you study on the toilet, then they’re just shitty
-You HATE anyone who has less finals then you, a better final schedule, finals that are later in the day. You best friend becomes an enemy because they write 3 finals instead of 4, that fucking dick, take a full load you slacker
-Coffee is awsome. Nothing else will keep you awake to cram all that shit in your brain until 5 am, and then help you get up at 7 am so you can cram a little bit more before your 9am final.
If any of these dont apply to you, and your more prepared than I am for finals, I hate you.”
Courtesy of:
Jordan Vanjoff
Full time Unprofessional Student
University of Saskatchewan, College of Commerce
Saskatoon, SK
That is what each and every university student goes through at one point or another and usually twice a semester. So I’ll say it again, THANK GOD it’s over. Though, two week break and I”ll be back. Block it out Candice block it out
