Okay I stole this from a friends blog who stole it from another friends blog, but I thought it was important to share the joy. Santa has a blog and it’s AWESOME, at least I think so. It’s good to know what Santa is up to, and what Santa is all about. Just keeping the spirit alive…
http://clauschronicles.blogspot.com/
There you go enjoy… don’t forget “He’s gonna find out whose naughty or nice”….
I’d like you all to watch as the burden of school is officially lifted from my shoulder… *sigh*, does that ever feel GREAT!! It was a long tough semester, and it’s finally OVER, that’s right I said it, it is OVER (just needed to read it twice to make sure). I was writing my last final today and as I watched people exit the testing room, they physically changed, from shoulder hunching, exhausted shells of human beings, to people with hope for an actual life again, and I also know every single one of them was headed towards a liquor store or bar, because nothing says the end of finals like an ice cold beer (or 10). For those of you who have never really been fully immersed in the hell that is finals, I recieved an email recently that expresses fully EXACTLY what we each go through, I’d like to share it with you:
“Hey guys, I figured i’d write an email to briefly overview what we’re all going through with finals right about now. Some of you aren’t writing finals, but have in the past, so maybe you remember. In my opinion theres 4 steps to getting through finals
Step 1. Denial - The test isn’t going to be that hard. I know my stuff pretty well I think I’ll do alright. It’s only worth 30%. I only need a 50% on the final to pass the class. Said any of those lately
2. Procrastination - Its not for another 3 days, I can totally party tonight. Its not for another 2 days, I study my best at crunch time anyways, lets go out for wings and then play some poker. It’s only tommorow, yeah I should write an email about finals to my friends instead of studying.
3. Realization - Holy fuck its tommorow I better stay up all night cramming this shit. Holy fuck I dont have enough time, I guess ill just study the basics and hope I can bluff all the MC.>
4. The Test - You’re still studying 20 minutes before the test gotta read that last chapter for the first time real quick. Saying to yourself ‘ I sure wish I started studying a week ago and was actually prepared for once’. While your writing the test you feel mediocre about every question, not knowing if your for sure right or completely wrong ever. After the test your elated about finally being done 1 fucking exam, and decide its a good idea to get drunk and celebrate instead of study for the next exam 2 days away.
Some other weird events that happen during finals
-You find doing anything else other than studying is fucking awesome.
-You watch poker on television for hours.
-You call your parents just to see what they’re up to, which you never do otherwise.
-You clean your room/kitchen/bathroom, b/c fuck, its better than studying.
-You help other people with their work because it’s more fun than your studying.
-You find yourself beating off 3 times a day because, fuck, its a good quick study break.
-You’re totally reevaluating your life, and maybe wondering if this ‘university education’ is such a good idea, realizing that riggers dont have to write any finals, and they can sure buy alot of toys.
-You talk to all those people on msn that you NEVER talk to. Oh hey ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend, whats new in your life?
-You find yourself sleeping in 3 extra hours because you ’study on your own time’ and ‘dont follow anyones rules, not even your own’ which in the end fucks yourself over b/c studying between 3-9 am doesnt work well
-Taking shits are even better than ever, unless you study on the toilet, then they’re just shitty
-You HATE anyone who has less finals then you, a better final schedule, finals that are later in the day. You best friend becomes an enemy because they write 3 finals instead of 4, that fucking dick, take a full load you slacker
-Coffee is awsome. Nothing else will keep you awake to cram all that shit in your brain until 5 am, and then help you get up at 7 am so you can cram a little bit more before your 9am final.
If any of these dont apply to you, and your more prepared than I am for finals, I hate you.”
Courtesy of:
Jordan Vanjoff
Full time Unprofessional Student
University of Saskatchewan, College of Commerce
Saskatoon, SK
That is what each and every university student goes through at one point or another and usually twice a semester. So I’ll say it again, THANK GOD it’s over. Though, two week break and I”ll be back. Block it out Candice block it out
Okay so I have a rather hilarious anecdote to share with you all:
A friend of mine was in the bedroom with her man, canoodling in the canine position, hot and heavy and all that jazz, nearing the end he pulls out to finish off, all “ooh baby that was good” and BAM…BAM…BAM he shoots himself right in the eye!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Poor guys eye is all red and irritated, now how do you explain that one to friends and family eh? Now this is absolutely hilarious, even more so if you know the couple in question, and what makes it funnier is that you know that is really could happen to anyone, I’ve seen it shoot over a guys shoulder before, you never really know where it’s gonna go do ya? Ah the tradgedies wayward ejaculation has caused. Too funny!!! Any wayward stories of your own? Please share…
So I was talking to Danny tonight, and it was a really shitty conversation, here’s a sample…
Candy~ says:
fine
~Candy~ says:
Leave me to be all bored and crap
~Candy~ says:
I already crapped so I’ll just have to be bored
Hate Me says:
lol i’m gonna cry
~Candy~ says:
I know it’s awesome
Hate Me says:
wow you are bored
~Candy~ says:
see what a fun time u’ll be missing out on
Hate Me says:
yes well i got as big day tomorrow building a fence and i had a short night so…
Hate Me says:
no talking about poo
~Candy~ says:
Fine then, maybe I can work up another crap so I have two things to dotonight
Hate Me says:
bye shitthead
~Candy~ says:
see *grunt* you *grunt* later *grunt* Danny
Hate Me says:
go wipe
~Candy~ says:
Not *grunt* quite *grunt* done
~Candy~ says:
It’s still brewing
Hate Me says:
r u high?
~Candy~ says:
no just in a Candice mood
Hate Me says:
enough shit i might have to do that befor ei go to sleep now thank you
~Candy~ says:
Just giving you something lovely to dream about
Hate Me says:
Thanks,
~Candy~ says:
I can seeit now “ah there’s Candice and her nice boobs, mmmmm, oh wait, wait a second, what is she doing…. aww nooooo, Candice nooooo, gag gag”
Am I freak, apparently yes yes I am. The things I say past 3 am are not for the faint of heart lol. This little entry is really just a test of wills to see who can really handle me… You think you can handle me, well we shall see…
After our wild and crazy antics of last night I just took it super easy today, didn’t even shuffle my way to class, just drove home from Lethbridge and watched some tube, read Catch 22 (for class), and went online, but I did recieve a rather hilarious e-mail that I thought I should share with you.
“I Understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat sicissors, but there is no freaken way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically “wrap around”rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors. Why can’t paper suffocate students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why– BECAUSE PAPER CAN’T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I thought that paper would protect you”
Muahahaha, seriously though think about it, who the hell made up that game?! I like this updated version of rock, paper, scissors and I think that we should seek out the inventor and play our game with them… Who’s with me?
